Getting Married

They say it's the biggest day of your life, and financially at least that's always true. The ultimate romantic gesture isn't far from being the biggest single cost around, and its impact permeates through families. This brief guide is really to start you thinking about the cost impact, how you're going to pay for it, and tips on weddings for less.

• Prioritising
• Should I Borrow
• Ms Thrift's Story
• Friends and Family
• Individual Tips
• Other Articles/Discuss/Contacts

The happy couple thought they'd try for the Guinness Book of Records

Wedding costs always swell to fill the budget

Much wedding MoneySaving is a question of compromise and prioritisation. While a wedding is a wonderful dream day, if it leaves you financially crippled and paying it off for most of your married years, it's a pointless waste. Therefore the first step is to plan how much cash you're willing and able to spend, where it's going to come from, and what you're going to spend it on.

The truth is the cost of getting married will always swell to fill the budget. You never hear it said “what are we going to do with the extra cash?” So let the money drive the spending. Sit down and plan through what cash you have to spend, who's going to pay and where it comes from.

Prioritising

Before anyone accuses me of having a heart of stone, that's not what this article's about. The idea is to have a wonderful day, but get the best value out of it. Much of this involves priorities. It's worth balancing out the worth of different things.

Which is more important to you, a professional photographer, great flowers on the table or beautifully hand-crafted invitations? Weigh up your priorities.

Should I (or my family) borrow for a wedding?

Many money pundits would say never borrow. Yet this is trite. A wedding is a major expenditure and there's nothing wrong with borrowing (whether it's the couple or the parents) a little in order to have something now, including a wedding, yet it must be controlled and thought through. Three simple questions will help:

• Can you afford the repayments? And how long do you want to pay them back?
• Have you planned the expenditure so you have to borrow as little as possible?
• Are you borrowing the cheapest possible way? (See the Cut Price Plastic Loans and Personal Loans: how to get the cheapest articles).

However, do be very careful. Don't over borrow. As a rule of thumb I suggest never borrowing more than you can afford to pay back within a year.

Ms Thrift got married

Now at this point I need to tell you a story. In the early days of this site one of the regulars in the chat forum, MoneySaver Ms Thrift (now Mrs. Thrift) started a discussion about how to cut the cost of a wedding.

This became hugely popular and the discussion still rages on, with lots of new suggestions. There are many ways to cut the cost of weddings. The best thing to do is spend the time reading through people's original suggestions which can be found at MoneySaving Wedding Tips Start here and of course you can add your own thoughts.

However, to get you started (and with kind thanks to the contributors) I've picked out a few of the things people have suggested.

The big one - involve friends and family

Do you know a cake maker or a decent photographer? Is your brother a DJ or musician? Do you have an aunt or uncle with a landscaped garden they'd let you use for the reception? Or is a relative in the printing trade?

One of the main themes running through the discussion is to make sure you use your friends and families' core skills. Many people you know will be able to help so instead of simply setting down a wedding list, have a think through who can do what and ask them personally.

Ask for their help in lieu of a wedding present; it'll cut the cost of the wedding for you and perhaps their gift for them and will make your big day all the more personal and memorable.

Individual Tips

Below are some of the tips from the Chat Forum. How far you go depends on your budget. There are tips to suit all pockets.

Stationery

• Print your own.

  Whatever you want it's possible to print it; invitations, order of service, menus, place names and thank you cards. All the things you'll need for DIY printing are available at places such as Wedding Crafter and Mad About Cards. There's also a raft of free software available on the internet.

• Will work help?

  You could also see if your work will let you use its company discount on stationery.

• A picture says 1,000 thank you's.

  Thank you cards: find a really good photo of the two of you, have the negative reprinted as many times as necessary and handwrite on the back of it your personal Thank You's.

Make the blushing bride even more beautiful

• Think out of the box.

  Buy your wedding dress off the rail in department stores such as Debenhams rather than having it made to order. Oxfam even has wedding outlets.

• Handy Second-hand items.

  Why buy brand new items that are going to be used once then spend the rest of their days dust-gathering in the attic? Try using Ebay or other second-hand retailers for things like veils or bridesmaid's tiaras. Alternatively replace these items with much cheaper substitutes like flowers in your hair.

• Use credit loopholes.

  Some stores, such as Debenhams, have store cards offering an initial 10% discount when opened. If you don't have any debt problems take advantage of these by applying for a card and using the discount when buying your dress. Just make sure you pay it off in full at the end of the month or you'll be charged a ton of interest.

• Make friends in Selfridges.

  Get your make-up done in a large cosmetic department at somewhere like the Estée Lauder counter on your special day, then simply buy the lipstick to 'touch up' (and why not ask if they'll give you that as a freebie sample).

Photography

• Hijack friends' footage.

  Many of your guests will record the day for posterity, so why not ask them for a copy of their photos and videos? You can also encourage this further by leaving disposable cameras on the tables at the reception and collecting them in at the end of the night.

The venue

• Be Different.

  Pick an unpopular day for the wedding. Having it on a Friday or Sunday can reduce the cost of the reception (and sometimes ceremony) venue by up to half. Generally, any non-Saturday booking will receive some discount.

• Piggyback the Easter decorations.

  Picking a day shortly after a big religious event often means the church is still decorated lavishly.

The reception

• Use the Personal Touch.

  Styling the reception yourself can be time-consuming but much, much cheaper. Inexpensive alternatives can then be used instead of common costly items, such as white bedsheets as tablecloths. If you have friends with spare time, why not ask them to help as a wedding present to you?

• Booze Cruise.

  This one's a near-must for anyone doing the reception themselves. Taking a quick (and low cost) day trip to France/Belgium will allow you to pick up plenty of crates of cheap booze and champagne. The saving should more than outweigh the travel cost. (Though it's always worth checking this by pricing your booze list in the UK first and then using the internet to price it overseas).

• Free glass hire.

  You can further decrease your costs by arranging free glass hire (Waitrose and Morrisons offer this). Using a venue without a drinks licence will mean even cheaper drinking, as it won't charge corkage charges.

• Do me a favour.

  Making your own favours for the guests can make things a lot more personal and a lot cheaper. There are loads of possibilities for this, even printing out fancy envelopes and filling them with lottery tickets.

• Let others do the worrying, cheaply.

  Delay the booking of the Master of Ceremonies until the last minute. Then, if they want the job they'll still do it and this can halve the price. Further down the food chain, trainee cooks and waiters can sometimes be hired cheaply from colleges doing those courses.

The honeymoon

• Be flexible, but don't compromise.

  It may sound obvious but shop around for your honeymoon; if you're flexible on destination and brave enough to wait, then read Haggle Down Your Holiday Cost to see how you can cut the cost even further.

  Always make sure you check out free upgrades and specials for honeymooners, and speak directly with the travel company. It's also worth letting an airline know you're on honeymoon. There's a tiny chance you may just get an upgrade.

• Holiday or a Toaster?

  Have a honeymoon fund instead of a wedding present list. People are waiting longer before marrying nowadays and often already own a home and the main household gadgets when they get married, so why not ask friends and families to make contributions towards the honeymoon instead?

The cake

• Home Decorating.

  Buy a simple sponge cake, or whatever takes your fancy, from the supermarket and then decorate it yourself.

• Size isn't everything.

  To avoid massive cost and waste, make individual wedding cup cakes for each of your guests.

The ring

• See what you can get.

  Use smaller shops and try to avoid big retailers. Websites like Goldfinger Rings can also be very reasonable.

The flowers

• Innovate.

  It's amazing what you can do with some cheap vases, spray paints and a bit of elbow grease.

• Don't overlook the little man.

  Good quality flowers can be found cheaply on the village market or down the local grocer's shop.

• Give to Charity.

  The British Heart Foundation sells fake roses for £1, brilliant for button holes. As well as contributing to a good cause, they don't die or get crushed by all the hugging.

The transport

• Look the part, for less.

  If you don't live in London go for a London style cab as a wedding car and you'll get the smart black transport type of atmosphere at a much lower cost.

• Don't Drive.

  If you're having a civil wedding, by using the same venue for all parts of the day, no transport will be needed.

Miscellaneous

• Say it with Soap.

  Use Bubbles instead of expensive confetti!

• Use MoneySaving mantras.

  Stick to your budget. Whatever you're buying always ask “will we use it?, is it worth it?, can I find it cheaper anywhere else?”

• Get a refund.

  If your wedding present list is at Debenhams, the store gives you a £50 gift card (€75 in the ROI) to spend either in store or online.

Most of all, though, Congratulations. Enjoy the day, don't stress too much, and have a wonderful, prosperous life together!